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The Curious Case of u/PersonalHedgehog. Is this simply a Caroline Calloway worshipper? troll of epic proportions? multiple users with hygiene problems? Captain Kutchie back again? a supernatural entity? Read how this bizarre user's presence has unfolded over the past week and help decipher its code.
Where to begin...
1. Caroline Calloway
I guess it begins with Caroline Calloway though in a way she seems increasingly irrelevant to the story. Caroline is a polarizing figure and has amassed a somewhat large following of both fans and critics alike. This past September, Caroline's former friend Natalie published a fascinating article for The Cut about the dynamics of their relationship. It went viral; a lot of people, especially young women, found it relatable. Caroline has always been on the fringe of the Instagram influencer scene. She gained popularity as an American student at Cambridge University and then became famous again last year after hosting some scammy workshops. I will try not to editorialize too much about my personal feelings about her but suffice it to say, between The Cut article and various other moments of internet notoriety, Caroline graduated from a thread on blogsnark (a subreddit that had been created for the exodus of GOMI users) to her own personal subreddit SmolBeanSnark. Another note on GOMI: it was originally created by a woman named Alice to "snark" on mommy bloggers. I believe it's still used that way, though a number of users have migrated over to blogsnark like I mentioned, mostly due to privacy concerns and an onslaught of advertisements that renders the site nearly unusable. Remember that name: Alice. She comes into the story here as well.
2. Personal Hedgehog's First Post
On April 7, Personal Hedgehog ("PH") made her first appearance on SmolBeanSnark. She wrote a pretty hilarious defense of Caroline in a so-called "memorandum," even going so far as to threaten legal action against members "spreading lies." Importantly, she called this a "cease and desist" and often talked about her "character" and "constitution."
The user had a distinct writing style. She often used the phrase "takes my breath away" and accused users of not having friends, saying they "project" their friendlessness onto her. She told users to "pick up a book." She also asserted that she is good friends with Caroline and that Caroline and her attorney had "authorized" her to send any "lies" PH found about her onto them "via email." If this paragraph makes little sense to you, I understand, and encourage you to read the comments on that post in full.
At this point the subreddit was confused as to whether this was a performative troll or actually someone in Caroline's camp. I suppose that is still an open-ended question.
Another user was commenting as a "friend" of PH, but this is almost certainly a PH sock puppet.
3. Personal Hedgehog Decides to Apply to Law School
Following this post, PH asked for advice from the LSAT subreddit and the law school admissions subreddit. She also sought legal advice for how to deal with the "spreading of lies" on SmolBeanSnark. Unfortunately, the moderators of those subreddits deleted her posts (as you can see). PH seemed to blame the deletion and downvotes on "brigading" from SmolBeanSnark users, though there is no evidence that this was the case.
She posted again to SmolBeanSnark asking the users to stop "brigading." Again, I encourage you to read that post and the comments in full to get a more cohesive (if possible) picture of this user, up til this point.
4. Here's where it gets weird. Kelle Hampton and "vaginal scent."
Like it wasn't weird already. I know.
One user unearthed that four years ago, a user had written a similarly deranged "cease and desist" regarding Alice of GOMI (remember her?). Not only was the "cease and desist" bit the same, and the general lack of legal knowledge, but the author often mentioned her "constitution" and "character," just like PH. Also, Alice is a very unpopular figure on blogsnark (much as Caroline is on smolbeansnark) so the user(s) would have known they were not exactly preaching to the choir. Again, I encourage you to read the entirety of u/seektruthkindness220's comment and post history. There is a LOT to unpack there.
Importantly, that user seemed to be the one to establish lvss. This is where it gets a little... gross. It appears that the user set up this subreddit for women who have a vaginal scent that "lingers" on their fingers. The users exchange recipes for fish-heavy dishes in an effort to, apparently, mask the lingering vaginal scent ("LVSS" stands for lingering vaginal scent support). Many users (and I tend to agree with, and frankly hope for, this theory) postulate that all the users on there are actually one person.
One prevalent user on there is u/kellehampton. Kelle Hampton is an old school mommy blogger. Her twee Instagram depicts her highly curated life in Florida, raising three very cute kids. That's as far as her presence goes to this "mystery" in my opinion; there is just no way the real Kelle Hampton is participating in this kind of subreddit online. Further, the user was accused of sharing photos of gore in a four-year-old post. This seems extremely out of character for the actual Kelle. I think whoever is behind PH managed to snag the username. Most people on blogsnark are probably familiar with who Kelle Hampton is and thus it would make a noticeable account name.
5. PH starts posting to lvss. Please help decipher this "code!"
I'm unclear on the timeline but it appears that AFTER the SmolBeanSnark user discovered the 4-year-old cease and desist that PH began posting a seemingly random array of articles to lvss.
However, it's not so random. If you go to that subreddit and sort by new (as u/personalhedgehog herself suggested), the articles/web pages are:
Cruise Ship Worker Reveals What It's Like In Isolation At Sea
Anteater | mammal
Review: When White Working-Class Fury Came of Age
Orville Redenbacher Classic Popcorn & Gourmet Popping Corn
LG Unveils V30 Flagship With Super Camera, Sound Features
I Can’t Answer My Daughter's Questions About COVID-19
Nick Carraway - Wikipedia
Easter Basket Essentials You Can Order Online
I'm sure I don't have to spell it out for you? Creepy, right? (Thank you for the observation, u/chunkingexpressopal!). Even creepier is that u/kellehampton begins commenting on each post a combination of the following: "no cap"; "cap"; "foretold"; and "no foretold" in a list from 1-3. For example, on the anteater post:
- no cap
- no foretold
6. u/seektruthkindness220 is dead and Personal Hedgehog will not be bringing Kutchie's Key Lime Pie to an Easter party.
By this point, PH was seemingly less concerned with defending Caroline and increasingly involved with lvss and responding to u/kellehampton. She occasionally responded to comments both defending her legal prowess and her "friend" Caroline and offered insight into a MTV reality star's appearance.
As you might recall, u/seektruthkindness220 (who goes by the name Shannon) hasn't posted in four years. However, on Saturday, 4/11, a user appeared on lvss alleging that she is Shannon's stepdaughter, her name is Rachel, and quite sadly, her stepmother has passed away.
PH was already upset at the time of the posting. She told "Kelle" that she would be bringing a key lime pie (not Kutchie's, but one that is quite close in quality!) to an Easter party. "Kelle" scolded PH, telling her she better be social distancing and not attending any parties. After this interaction, Kelle apparently ignored PH for hours but responded to Rachel's post about Shannon's passing. This deeply upset PH. PH begged for Kelle to respond to both her public comments and direct messages; PH promised she would definitely NOT attend any Easter parties. At the same time, PH and Rachel got into a bit of a scuffle, after which PH requested for Rachel to be blocked from lvss. Kelle supposedly obliged but Rachel continues to post there.
7. Random notes perhaps of interest
u/kellehampton has been posting about Kutchie's as early as 4 years ago: https://www.reddit.com/lvss/comments/42joqx/shans_special_salmon_stirfry/czax07m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x. I haven't found any other mentions of it though from before this past week.
Rachel also informed deadredditors that her stepmother has passed.
It is also believed that u/seektruthkindness221 is Rachel's fatheShannon's widower. (I say this, of course, with the belief that these are ALL one person. But in the PH universe, this is their relationship).
This also appears to be a sock puppet.
8. PH wants out
Here is the timeline of the past 48 hours or so:
--Kelle scolds PH for continuing to comment on various subreddits, writing: "Please stop commenting on the Caroline Calloway subreddit and elsewhere. Cruel comments about some stranger’s LSAT score are completely unnecessary." PH apologizes profusely.
-- on that same post ^, Kelle writes the following unnumbered combination:
A user we have not seen before, u/SheWillBeHereSoon appears and writes:
"the combination has been secured
she will be here soon"
--Minutes later, Kelle writes this post
--The first signs of fear appear. PH responds, "What do I do??? Please!" and Kelle replies:
"DO NOT COMMENT ELSEWHERE
THIS IS VITAL
YOU KNOW HOW TO REACH ME"
--PH then posts a combination of phrases and u/SheWillBeHereSoon responds to it "end communication."
--u/shewillbeheresoon then writes the following eerie post:
"they are safe with me
she will be here soon
meantime safe with me
no cap no forebode
meantime safe with me"
At this point, u/personalhedgehog has not posted in a while, as she has been instructed.
However, 19 hours ago, PH wrote on that post:
"Whatever this is has stopped being funny or helpful. Please stop doing this to me- whatever I did or did not do to deserve this I beg you stop. I do not feel safe. No cap cap cap cap cap cap. Pleae Kelle. You know me- you know this is not what I asked for. Please release me from this. I’m just a stupid kid from Arizona- I won’t ever post again here or elsewhere. Cap cap. No foretold. Please Kellehampton. I don’t want a part of this any more." [emphasis added]
One hour prior to that, Kelle had written on the same post: "Safe, here, indeed. Oh and we wait. But she will be here soon."
--PH writes on that askreddit post mentioned above, "I'm scared."
As far as I can see, that's the last thing she has written.
9. Meanwhile, Rachel continues to post.
Rachel continues to post. She added this recipe to lvss, which is worded very similarly to her stepmother's old posts and "recipes" but includes words like "forewarn."
She wrote this today.
And yesterday on that same askreddit post she wrote:
"Edgar Allen Poe and additionally I venture to tell anyone here on here to no cap forebode and further to no forewarn forebode. Funny too in that I was foreboden from Kutchie’s to discuss its amazing key lime pie outside the store but here I am mentioning it anyway. Kutchie would be glad to know his key lime pie which everyone knows is the best of the best is still being discussed posthumously. The fact is we don’t know the cap on this life but every life before ours is a forewarning to live it to the fullest and if that includes eating or trying to recreate Kutchie’s Unmatched Keylime Pie I know what a life full lived is."
This of course continues to develop as Rachel has posted fairly recently. If I am missing anything, or if the timeline is wrong somehow, or you want credit for a discovery on here, please let me know! I'm excited to hear what you guys think, especially regarding the seemingly inexplicable code.